Well today was a Monday if I ever saw one!
I leave you with a quote that I wish I could remember more often:
-Bill Cosby
I am going through kind of a funk or eye-opening phase in my life where I know things need to change but I don't know how to change them.
I have lived my whole life trying to please people or by making them happy. I have done so many things I didn't want to do, just because I knew it would make someone else feel better.
I am now realizing that this is the basis of several of my relationships, including work, and I don't know how to fix it. I have set such high expectations of myself for others that when I don't follow through, I'm suddenly a terrible person...
I'm not saying that this is a good trait to have. To an extent, we should "do unto others", but I have ended up letting people walk all over me, manipulate me or just flat out use me for the attention.
I'm not saying that this is a good trait to have. To an extent, we should "do unto others", but I have ended up letting people walk all over me, manipulate me or just flat out use me for the attention.
I'm sure you have all seen this by now...
It's not even that I'm not happy, I'm just realizing some things about myself that I wish I could fix overnight. I'm feeling overwhelmed with responsibility and expectations!
I've always known that the only person who can truly make you happy is YOURSELF. No matter how I try, I'm never going to fix everyone's problems... but why do I continue to please everyone anyways????
Thoughts, suggestions, support, & comments are appreciated at this time!
Happy Monday
13 comments:
Oh boy, that's a tough one. I do the same thing. My father in law always says "here's what I can say yes to". That way you're not saying no and being selfish or unhelpful, but you're accepting a limit that you're comfortable with. And your happiness most definitely comes first, no guilt in that!
Hang in there!
I totally know how you feel, and I love that quote. I really think this is something that just takes time to learn - to learn your limits, to learn that you CAN say no, and to learn to decipher what you really want - it's so hard, but just being aware that you are a people pleaser is a big step. Things will look up - tomorrow is another day (and not a Monday!)
Thanks! You guys are the best! Love the "setting limits" idea. These are definitely helpful things to hear!
don't be too hard on yourself girlie, because just recognizing the situation and something you want to change is a good start. sometimes, without even knowing it, once you recognize something you are already growing towards change. I know if you want to, you will become better at this:)
xo
L
Aw so true. I am the same way. :/
x
perfect quote for a Monday! Mine was sooo busy.
great quotes! you probably are related to the little baby because my friend kandice has a pretty large family! heheh
xoxo
i hate it when you can't change something right away! stick with it - you'll get there.
You're preaching to the choir, I know exactly how you feel and have had many discussions with friends about this lately. I've realized that sometimes the more time I spend 'in my head' the worse it is, often I just need to change up my routine a little - talk an evening walk, go the gym, have dinner with a friend - it takes my mind off things & can help with perscpective. Not to run away from anything, I just know I over analyze a lot :)
I totally understand what you mean. Changes won't come overnight but if you REALLY want to change something in your life - just do it and don't care about others this time because the most important relationship you have is the one with yourself. So make yourself happy in the first place, people who love you, will always love no matter what is going on!!!
Thanks so much! Everyone has left amazing feedback! I DEFINITELY overanalyze EVERYTHING. I have to remind myself to STOP WORRYING about what everyone else is doing on a constant basis! Definitely working on it :)
hey you, it's so good you are sharing this and thinking about these kinds of things. that's the first step to changing them! recognizing this is BIG all by itself b/c so many peeps never do and it messes them up long term. no time to start than the present. it'll be hard at first, like you say about the guilt to say no or whatever but something that starts out as uncomfortable will turn into an every day okay kinda feeling eventually.
i have a quote on my fridge that i read everyday b/c i was once where you seem to be now. it says "the minute you settle for anything less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for". i have it memorized but still look at it for affirmation. you'll find a way that works for you, no doubt. whatever you do start first with getting out of the "used" bin, some peoples intentions are so un-pure. be extra wary Jess and most of all be well! ♥
Hey Jess, I just wrote a long reply, but I don't know where it went...maybe in virtual heaven. Anyways, I just wanna say that this is a really sincere post and i totally know what you mean. It's great that you're realizing what you need to change to be happier. Everything you go though with relationships and situations is how you become the person you are and want to be in the future. It all makes you wiser and stronger. It just takes time and reflection. Good for you for taking that first step!
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